\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740817
Review #4740817
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  Open in new Window.
Review by Annette Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review from
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Hello Rand Author Icon

As a (relatively recent) cat servant, I was drawn to this piece from the title and the image you added to it.

The intro line below the title is funny. You have such a sophisticated title and then the intro line kind of takes it backwards. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with simply saying what you mean to say.

I hate to admit it, but the last line made me laugh. It's the cadence of the rhyme and the outcome for the annoyed rodent that elicits a chuckle even in the face of such a violent act.

Check out this sentence in the third stanza:

those shiny, spiky teeth of its can surely do a goring *Right* I can't tell you why or what, but this sentence just feels off. As if there is a grammatical turn in there that isn't quite correct. I get what the sentence means to say, but I had to read it a couple of times over to fully grasp the content. I think it's too flowery and loopy for this poem that is otherwise told in a very straightforward manner.

I have one cat who would totally hunt like that. And my other cat who wouldn't be able to catch either of those rodents. He's young though. He might still become a successful hunter. I don't let them walk outside without supervision though, so I'll never find out.

Annette
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/01/2024 @ 7:49pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740817