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Review #4740813
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Review by NaNoNette Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.0)
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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Hello ifunanya001

This short story is broken down into four chapters. I can see how you could expand on all five parts and make this into a longer short story or a novel. That would depend on how much back story and history you want to include in each chapter. It seems that chapters one and two would warrant less than the other chapters. They are both setting the stage for things to come. There could be more about Sarah and how she ended up there. What drove her to investigate the haunting and what kind of stories has she heard. Chapters three and four should not only explain what happened and who the vengeful spirit is, but it should also contradict whatever tales are going around about the haunted house. That way, there is more to tell.

You did a good job with creating an atmosphere of mystery. One thing I don't feel at all while reading is fear. Sarah seems to be very much in charge of her destiny and not at all impressed by the fact that she wandered into a house with a dark past.

The font size and paragraph spacing are perfect for reading on a screen. This is a big deal, so make sure you keep writing neatly like that. It makes it easier for reviewers to see everything. One more thing. If you make this longer, consider giving each chapter its own item. Once a story gets too long, it becomes very hard to give good, detailed feedback.

Annette
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