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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4739581
Review #4739581
Viewing a review of:
 Outdoors is Where Adventure Lies  [E]
Kids need to play outside more…
by elizjohn
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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#1188309 by iKïyå§amaCabre


What a lovely poem! I'm guessing the bolded phrases are part of a prompt, how beautifully you've woven them in.

The message is great - outdoor play in this age of screen time. It evoked some nostalgia of my own childhood and playing with friends or cousins outdoors.

Just the description was nice enough, and then came the little anecdote to spice it up and bring a smile! *Smile* Those things happened too sometimes, and the nice thing was, it was all taken in one's stride. (Unlike today where it becomes a big issue among the adults.)

The title and brief description work. I'd suggest you change the last genre to 'Action / Adventure'. The rhyme / verse structure work well. Maybe some writing ML for the layout, like font, size, line space and colour.


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/30/2024 @ 12:43am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4739581