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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4737581
Review #4737581
Viewing a review of:
 A Mountain of Gold  [E]
Flash Fiction Entry.
by L.A.Saxe
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
An Angel Army Review


Hi L.A.Saxe .

I'm Polter-JACE: Cruising ... , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "A Mountain of Gold" .

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. I've always thought flash fiction to be particularly tough to write well--a good hook to begin, depth in the middle and a memorable ending all in very few words.

You accomplished that and doing that with mostly dialogue. Well done.

You did miss out on a better use of your Item Description. It should be something that entices a reader to take the time to read and review. It's your billboard to your story. If you enter the item in a contest, add that as an Author's Note at the bottom of your story.

Interesting choice of names. I guess you had to choose something that wouldn't invest your reader in their future well-being. *Wink*

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* I found no errors in the mechanics cited about. Again, well done.    

*Star* My Rating.  4.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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