\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4736730
Review #4736730
Viewing a review of:
 Cognitive Liberty Open in new Window. [E]
Should companies be allowed to access our brain activity without regulation or permission?
by Tadpole1 Author Icon
Review of Cognitive Liberty  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary ReviewsOpen in new Window.*CakeP*




*PenB* First Impressions:

Yes, someone reading my mind without my consent would bother me too! I’m sure that kind of technology isn’t too far in the future, considering all the ‘smart’ gadgets we have already. We have watches that tell us about other aspects of our bodies like our heart rate and such, so I would imagine that monitoring brainwaves is doable. Not sure if this means the device would be reading someone’s mind, not in the old-fashioned definition of that phrase anyway, assuming that they know exactly what we are thinking. But it’s scary enough to tick the ‘no’ box on the ballot, if one is offered.

Of course, Nathanial doesn’t do that. Having spent most of the story complaining about the hat or thinking about how much it annoyed him, at the crucial moment, he chose the other option. So that hat seemed to have a dual function here; it monitored, and it influenced. Not much of a fair choice, then, but the readers expected it at this point after the speech and everything that had led up to the vote. I thought it worked very well, the way you structured the story and told the readers about Nathanial’s misgivings, and then have him ‘choose’ the option that he had been complaining about.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was very polished and I didn’t notice any errors. I only have one tiny suggestion: I would change the formatting of the paragraph that describes the ballot to set it off from the narrative of the story. You could put it in italics or a different font, perhaps centre it how it would look on the paper. As it is, it looks like another paragraph of the story and it took me a moment to understand what it was.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

This was a good story that left me feeling a little uneasy because I can imagine that something a little like this might one day happen, in the not too distant future. I felt for Nathanial who was now stuck with the brain-spying cap, but also for all of us. I have to go now, my smart watch informed me that it is bedtime and in a minute, it is going to turn down the dimmer on my screen to force me to get some rest *Wink*




Come on in and join the fun!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/12/2024 @ 9:15pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4736730