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Review #4734922
Viewing a review of:
 One Last Cigarette Open in new Window. [E]
One Last Cigarette
by russelljadams Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, and thank you for requesting a review.

This is a touching and thoughtfully written story that brought me close to tears by the end. We are introduced to two men and shown their shabby, hopeless shared lives together in the city. The narrative slowly builds on itself until the end, when we understand at last that they are homeless, they mean no harm, and could very well die that night.

I was unsure of the direction this would take at first; dark twists are so common around here. I assumed Bruce and Rusty were street robbers planning to attack the wealthy man. This very assumption leads one to consider one’s own underlying stereotypes and what we expect from a story. Though this story has no plot, drama or development, it paints a powerful and memorable vignette of two friends who have nothing in the world but memories to call their own.

I appreciated the many small descriptive details scattered throughout, immersing us in a poignant, up close experience of the cold, darkening city streets as the men sit and watch the world leave them behind.

My only suggestion for improvement would be to use size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability across devices.

I find this story all too relatable, to be honest. I know firsthand the hopelessness of being one of the poorest of society, of sitting with an empty life and watching the world pass by, of trying to distract myself from the stark, painful reality of impossible struggles by observing others and imagining things about them, of wondering how I’ve gotten myself into this, of feeling like a passive viewer of my own life. Things get better when I take positive action for self improvement, but the complicated chain of obstacles often feels insurmountable, and the inevitability of a disastrous outcome looms large… ok, maybe I’m exaggerating. I speak in poetic generalities now because this story touched me deeply.

Take care, thank you very much for sharing, and keep writing *Smile* *Heartt*
So cute :)
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