%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4734725 |
 | Emergency Landing  [13+] Writers Cramp Entry  |
| (4.0)   Hello, Rogue Writer! Happy WdC Anniversary from "Anniversary Reviews" !  Overall Impression:This is a solid entry for a quick turnaround contest. Title and Description: The title is perfect, but the description could be changed to give the reader more context. If they were invested in the blurb, it might help get more eyes on the story. You could always add "Writer's Cramp Entry" before or after the story in the body of the page. Hook and plot:I was interested right from the very beginning, so that's great. Your story flowed well, the descriptions and events seemed plausible, and everything was well-rounded. I liked the bit of tongue-in-cheek ending, too! Characters and dialogue:The characters felt natural, given their positions. I wouldn't have expected a technical briefing to be relaxed, but you also didn't make it so stuffy that it became boring. You struck the right balance between professional, technical, and natural. You did an excellent job differentiating your character's personalities with the dialogue. Great job there. Grammar and Mechanics:For the most part, I didn't find any major hangups that pulled me out of the story. I would change the verb tenses in the opening paragraph to match the rest of the story. For example, instead of "I entered the hangar," it would be, "I enter the hangar and stop to look...". This would correspond with the next paragraph, where you say, "My crew and I are being escorted..." or later on when you say, "For a moment I stare..." I also found: clime > climb Final Thoughts:An excellent entry for the contest. It was easy to follow despite all the technical conversations taking place. Well done! Thank you for sharing your work with us! JayNaNoOhNo  My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim"
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You responded to this review 06/13/2024 @ 6:13pm EDT