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Given: Feb 23, 2024 at 12:01pm
Length: 567 Characters |
567 w/o WritingML
Very nice story. I like the superhero aspect of it. I am a sucker for superhero stories. The world building is simple but clear. Your establishment of the character as a superhero is excellent. It felt all show not tell. I think you could expand this story with more active action you got a little tell not show there. It seemed awfully short for its potential. Give me more characters, show me more about the commissioner. Does The Derg have a Derg lair? Or a really large apartment. Where do they go during the day when they aren't as badly needed?
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