Greetings, my friend,

Good heavens, this had me from start to finish. I didn't know how much blood and gore and tragedy I should expect from this Gothic horror... I don't usually venture down trails of this sort. Thank you for treading lightly and ensuring it had a "happy" ending with touches of humor throughout.

You did a splendid job showing us all the different characters, the rotten old building and the nifty steampunk equipment. I could picture everything vividly in my mind, and it was impossible to put down. I enjoyed seeing the two detectives interacting and was sorry to see the other one pass. That constable was a relief when he saw the creatures and came through.

One thing I would suggest is to make sure we understand how young the would-be occultists are right from the beginning; for some reason the way Potter was described and spoke about himself, I assumed he was a middle-aged guy, especially considering how concerned the doctor was. It came as a surprise when the detective called them "kids."

Also, I like having a word count at the top of the page so I know what I'm getting into; I've caught the occasional glimpse of a word count estimate as part of the standard opening stats on items, but I can't usually access that.

I have no further recommendations to make here; this is a fine tale, carefully written and well presented.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .