Nice story. It feels like a lead in to comedic spy plot. It definitely had a great hook with the narrator receiving mysterious notes.

There are a couple of proof reading errors that you might want to update:
cabins air conditioner - cabin's air conditioner (Possessive)
steak-out - should be Stake out (steak is used for the food)
Was this some type of shady deal going on - should have a question mark at the end
waiters suit - should waiter's suit.

The plot of the short is really exciting as it had a mystery in it. I love the surprise ending. I can't blame the narrator for continuing to be curious. I'm left wondering “piter pypur puked a pek of pikeld peepers” was intended to mean and wanting to follow the mysterious. I feel like the premise of this story could be expanded further into a larger arc. There is definitely room to continue the story further if you wanted to and I would enjoy reading more of it but it works very well on a short of its own. Really fun writing!!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .