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Review #4714227
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 An old Christmas Card Open in new Window. [E]
A gentle reminder found behind a mantle.
by Quiltingmama Author Icon
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A married couple are looking over an old house they're thinking of making their next aproject,when an srgument develops over whether it should be possible to move the mantle or not. The wife is against the man making further attempts to move it (perhaps having experience of previous misguided attempts at things that went very wrong), and eventually leaves him to it. The man succeeds in moving the mantle and finds a photo of a couple and a Christmas card dating from 1917. The wife returns and they learn a lesson for the future.

It's a simple tale told with flair and ability, holding the reader's attention throughout and leading to a heartwarming conclusion. The writing is generally excellent but I did find a couple of phrases that were a little awkward or incorrect grammatically. For instance, "her hair escaping her ponytail" makes it sound as if her hair was busily escaping while he watched it. Perhaps better to say, "her hair, escaped from her ponytail, curling and frizzing around her face..."

Later, you say, "The bulk of the remaining bits of paper were random scraps..." Strictly speaking, that should be "...are random scraps" because the verb refers to "the bulk." But I agree that both alternatives sound wrong because of all the plurals surrounding "was/were." It might be better to dodge the issue by saying something like, "All but one of the remaining scraps were..."

These are minor matters that would probably escape notice by most readers. The story is very well written, without any glaring errors and it is very well presented in style and flow. A most enjoyable read, indeed.

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