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 Review #4714128 |
 | My Mom  [E] She turns 80 this year - and is still a firecracker -  |
| (4.5)| Hi AmyJo-Christmas wishes ,I found this item in your portfolio and thought I'd leave a review!  Overall Impression: This is a lovely poem about your mom. I love how it shows that just because you're getting on a little, you don't have to stop enjoying your life! That is a wonderful message. There's a great positivity to this poem. I loved reading about your mom's new adventures. I hope that if my health allows me to, I will be able to have my own adventures when I get older - have some experiences that I haven't had before. There's so much to see and do in this world, and we might as well enjoy as much of it as we possibly can. There's a bit of background on your mom as well. That allowed us to get to know her a little before she set off on her first cruise. I enjoyed that insight. On the technical side of things, this poem reads well. It has a pleasant rhythm and flow. On the whole, you have done a good job here! Suggestions: I do have some suggestions, dear author. I hope that you will find them helpful! Stanza 3:  This year has marked a new first for her,A Caribbean cruise - a first for... There is that bit of repetition here of it being a first for her. As they're not both needed, I suggest altering one of them. Perhaps something like: This year has brought a new adventure, a Caribbean cruise - a first for...? Stanza 4: Now, she has been to a concert this year-I am not sure about 'now' and 'this year' in the same line - it feels as if they're not both needed. That might be something to play around with. Stanza 5: To my 80-year old...I think that '80-year old' should be 80-year-old. My Rating: This is a lovely poem that brought a smile to my face. I was happy to read it. I did have a few suggestions. Nothing major. The content on the whole is great. Therefore, I will give this poem a rating of 4.5 out of 5. Thank you for sharing your work. Write on! Kit   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/30/2023 @ 4:56am EDT