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Review #4713995
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear J. B. Anthony Author Icon,

I discovered your prose poem, "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. today and wanted to offer my reaction with some feedback. This piece presents a vivid portrayal of a man's daily struggles and inner turmoil, highlighting a sense of disorientation and anxiety. The style is marked by its introspective and contemplative nature, drawing the reader into the protagonist's inner world.

I notice you keep it in a micro stories folder and the decision to call it prose poetry. I noted an absence of traditional punctuation and use of fragmented sentences and stream-of-consciousness writing that effectively mirror the chaotic and disjointed state of this man's mind. This stylistic choice serves the theme of inner turmoil exceptionally well. For example, the sentence, "The pages slide across one another like waves on the ocean, gentle in their ferocity," beautifully encapsulates this blending of calm and chaos.

The repetition of the phrase "Oh well" throughout the piece adds a poignant touch to the narrative, emphasizing the character's resigned acceptance of his daily struggles. This repetition proves to be a powerful motif, while driving home the sense of futility and routine.

However, I think there might be more you could do to enhance the poem; here are a few suggestions:

Clarity and Structure: While the fragmented style is effective in conveying the protagonist's mental state, it may benefit from occasional moments of clarity or structure. This could give the reader a reprieve from this and help emphasize the moments of significance amidst the chaos.

Imagery: Consider incorporating more vivid imagery to help readers connect with the character's emotions and experiences on a deeper level. For instance, describing the physical sensations of the cold water or the taste of the meal could enhance the reader's engagement.

Narrative Arc: While the poem successfully captures the daily struggles of the character, it might benefit from a subtle narrative arc or a turning point that offers a glimmer of hope or change, even if fleeting. This could create a more satisfying reading experience.

In sum up, "Terror" (my shorthand) effectively immerses readers in the protagonist's chaotic and anxious world. The stylistic choices contribute well to the overall theme, but introducing moments of clarity, enhancing imagery, and crafting a subtle narrative arc could further elevate this powerful portrayal of inner turmoil.

Thank you for sharing this in our little community, allowing me any opportunity to study and consider for feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian
Super Power Reviewer
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