%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4713820 |
 | chosen by no one.  [18+] To be chosen ?  |
| Hello Stay True This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum" [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with.   I found your item on the Read and Review link. I found the writing itself strongly emotional. You did a wonderful job getting that emotion through to the reader. I would have rated this higher, but with the format of no punctuation, except for a few double-spaced periods, and no capitalization. It made it a bit difficult to read. I do think the message is good and strong. Title and Description - Your title works perfectly with this writing. It sums up the piece nicely. Your description does as well. Showing the need of the writer in just three words.You may want to add two more genres. It's always good to use all three. A lot of people search using only the category/genre links. So the more you have, the more readers you may get. I'd suggest adding: Drama and Relationship.  Theme/Subject Matter:- The writing clearly shows the emotional turmoil the writer is going through. It hurts not to be needed the way we should be, and in the writing, this comes through quite loudly. It's a job well done at the raw emotion that comes through. Characters - The main character is developed nicely through the emotions we read. All she wants is to be loved and needed. To be actually 'seen' for who she is and the pain she's experiencing, instead of having to put on heirs just to make her neglectful mate feel more comfortable. Originality/Creativity:- The piece is quite original and speaks of the author's emotions. Emotion/Impact: - This piece left me mad at her mate and sad for her. My Suggestions - Since you didn't use capitalization or punctuation, I'm not going to include it in my suggestions. However, if you do decide to edit incorporating them, please let me know and I'll come back and review and rerate.  forget your name 5 minutesforgets your name five minutes  days where emotiondays when emotion  never ending never-ending do hear how Icrydo you hear how I cry?  any womenany woman  life someone life with someone  Summary: Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us.  KEEP ON WRITING ON! Intuey   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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