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Review #4713754
Viewing a review of:
 The Cycle of Sorrow Open in new Window. [E]
A poem about the cycle of the world.
by Gustav Flint Author Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear Gustav Flint Author Icon,

"The Cycle of Sorrow" Open in new Window. is a poignant poem that effectively conveyed the cyclical nature of societal suffering and the passing of responsibility from one generation to the next. The poem employed a consistent structure, utilizing repetition and variation to emphasize its theme.

Here are some highlights:

Repetition
The repetition of the phrases "Today, and tomorrow" serves as a powerful structural device, highlighting the recurring nature of societal issues. It underscores the idea that problems persist unless addressed.

Evocative Imagery
he use of fields as a recurring setting adds depth to the poem. It symbolizes both a gathering place for expressing discontent and the consequences of inaction when left barren.

Symbolism
The poem effectively uses symbolism to represent the passing of responsibility from one generation to the next. The shift from "we" to "they" and the call for the young ones to be "bold" carry profound meaning.

What could use reconsideration:

1. Repetitive Phrasing: While repetition is a strength, it can also lead to a sense of predictability. To enhance the poem, consider introducing more variation within the repeated lines to maintain engagement.

2. Vague Distaste: The poem expresses "distaste" for the world without delving into the specific issues or reasons behind it. Adding more concrete details or examples could make the poem more relatable and impactful.

3. Punctuation and Line Breaks: The poem could benefit from more strategic punctuation and line breaks to guide the reader's pacing and emphasize key moments or ideas.

Suggestions for improvement:

Clarify the Message: Expand on the reasons for the "distaste" expressed in the poem. Offering specific societal issues or challenges would make the theme more concrete.

Vary Repetition: While repetition is a central element, introduce some variation in phrasing or structure within the repeated lines to maintain reader interest.

Enhance Punctuation: Use punctuation strategically to control the rhythm and emphasize key moments. Experiment with line breaks to create pauses for reflection.

In summary, your poem effectively conveys its central theme through repetition, imagery, and symbolism. To improve, it can provide more clarity on the issues addressed, vary those repetitive elements, and refine punctuation and line breaks for that affect pleasure of the read.

It was a pleasure to read this and consider what I could offer by way of feedback. I hope it was helpful,

Brian
Super Power Reviewer
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