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Review #4713738
Viewing a review of:
 Hitting a bullseye Open in new Window. [E]
A short story about archery
by Henry George Author Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear Henry George Author Icon

The short story "Hitting a bullseye" Open in new Window. explores themes of determination and perseverance through the lens of a young archer. While the story has potential, there are several aspects that can be improved to enhance its development.

Story Structure and Formatting:
1. Expand on the protagonist's character development. Provide more insight into Trent's thoughts, feelings, and motivations. This will allow readers to connect with him on a deeper level.

2. Consider breaking the story into clear sections or acts, highlighting the character's progress and challenges. This can provide a better structure to the narrative.

Story Elements and Plot/Theme:
3. Emphasize the significance of hitting the bullseye for Trent. Why is it so important to him? What does it represent in his life? This will add depth to the story's theme of determination.

4. Add more conflict and obstacles. Trent faces some initial challenges, but introducing more hurdles and setbacks can make his eventual success more rewarding.

5. Explore the relationship between Trent and his father. Their dynamic is briefly touched upon, but delving deeper into their interactions can add emotional depth to the story.

Use of Dialogue:
6. Use dialogue to reveal character traits and motivations. Conversations between Trent and other characters can help convey their personalities and the reasons behind their actions.

Conflict Resolution and Story Arc:
7. Develop a clearer conflict resolution. Trent's journey should have a more defined culmination, whether he eventually hits the bullseye or learns an important life lesson.

Falling Action and Conclusion:
8. Consider providing more closure in the falling action and conclusion. Trent's smile at the end suggests satisfaction, but a more explicit resolution or reflection on his growth as a character can give the story a stronger ending.

In summary, to make "Hitting The Bullseye" more engaging and emotionally resonant for readers, focus on character development, adding depth to his motivations, and introducing more obstacles for him to overcome. This will create a more compelling narrative that emphasizes the themes of determination and personal growth.

It was a pleasure to consider for feedback and wish you success in your writing endeavors,

Brian
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