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 Review #4713600 |
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| (5.0)| Hi gageblackwood  ,Welcome to Writing.Com!  Overall Impression: This is an interesting poem about a relationship that has reached its end. The reason why it spoke to me is how real it feels. There was genuine feeling, but it's gone down the drain, and all that's left is a hard-earned lesson that this is not it. This is not how a relationship ought to be. There's a lot of feeling here, and you've done a good job getting that across to the reader. I can sense the hurt and the frustration. Communication's broken down. There's still something in the heart but the mind says to go because what's left isn't healthy. I think that many people can relate. It's sad but true that love all too often breaks down. I guess at least we do learn as we go along, and that helps us to appreciate when we find the person who's right for us. I have to mention the rhythm here, because it's excellent. I'd go so far as to call it lyrical. The rhyme works, too. All in all, great job! Suggestions: I do have some suggestions, dear author. I hope that you will find them helpful!  You use some punctuation in your poetry, which is helpful and appreciated. I suggest going for full punctuation by ending each sentence with a period. This would perfect the overall clarity and reading experience. You have set the intro rating of your item to non-E. Your intro does not contain anything that is not permitted under the E rating. Therefore, I suggest setting it to E. This will help a greater amount of members find your item. I noticed that you have opted for just one genre - Drama. I suggest selecting a couple more. This, again, will help people find your work. You could, for example, choose Romance/Love, Relationship, Personal, Experience, or Biographical. My Rating: This is a good poem with an excellent rhythm. I enjoyed the read. I did have some suggestions, but only one about the actual content of the item, and that was mostly a matter of personal preference. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 5 out of 5. Again, good job! Thank you for sharing your work. Write on! Kit    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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