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Review #4713388
Viewing a review of:
A Soldier's Prayer Open in new Window. [13+]
Rhymed description of the rocket attack that almost killed me and two friends.
by Schnujo's Doing NaNoWriMo? Author Icon
Review by tracker Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Your poem "Soldier's Prayer" fills in parts of your story I had not known. I am so happy it showed up in the Spiritual Newsletter edited by Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon today.

Overall Impression: Writing your huge life-altering story in twelve rhyming lines was amazing. It was an honor and a privilege for me to read it. Often traumatic events are lost in long descriptions. Your poem tells what happened in one hundred and five words. The tell-all line: "Fire from the sky, then the ground it arose."

What I liked: Foremost, I liked your story told in a clear and concise way. There was no need to go into further details. I liked the appropriate title. I admired the way you kept to the rhythm and rhyme. It helped me read your poem effortlessly. The genre categories you chose were exactly the right ones.

You may want to take a look at the third line in the first stanza. I think you meant to use a comma at the end of the line after the word heart.

Congratulations on your writing skills that allowed you to tell your story of this horrific thing that happened to you in the format of a prayer. I loved every word.

You have written a lot. It would take significant time to read it all. It is admirable to see you continue to write mainly for contests. It is all good work.

Thank you for your military service and sacrifice.

Write On!

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