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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4712919
Review #4712919
Viewing a review of:
 The Dreaded Work Party Open in new Window. [13+]
My Dec. 19 entry for Daily Flash Fiction
by Beck Firing back up! Author Icon
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Honestly, it's not much of a story, is it? But it has a certain charm to it, and it's well written without mistakes or errors. I think that much depends on what parameters were set for the contest. From the word count, I can guess that it was for flash fiction and limited to 300 words. But I have no idea what any prompt might have been and any other restrictions or demands set. It's always a good idea to put a note somewhere setting out the requirements of the contest for which the piece was written. That not only helps a reviewer to understand the boundaries within which you were working but also serves as a reminder to you in later years.

Since I think the word limit was pretty restrictive, I can see how you were not able to provide more of an ending to the piece. It is, however, full of hope in a new relationship between like minds and we can assume that the future looks good for the couple. Which would justify your excellent work in building the scene and the character of the narrator. On reflection, I think it qualifies as a story rather than a vignette.

As regards presentation, your choice of Contest Entry as one the three genres allowed would be better as one that is more likely to be searched for by readers looking for genre-specific stories. Then the matter of it being a contest entry could be included in the Note already suggested.

Your statement in the description of the piece doesn't tell a prospective reader anything about the story. This was your chance to increase interest, to be more specific about what is attractive in the piece. Hype it up a bit and make it stand out from the rest! Something like "Not another office party, she grumbled."

In conclusion, it's a pleasant read, an amusing tale for the reader who wants to be cheered up. And that's a noble aim!

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