Hello Winchester Jones,

I saw this short story in your port and I am reviewing it for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations as you register one more year at the WDC, for more creative writing.
Have a lovely day!

The little girl Janey Jane's character shows a warm and affectionate heart. she is kind and concerned about the flower getting drenched in the incessant rain.

" “Hank's flower” "
has a story of its own.

You did a great job regarding the sudden change in weather from " Blue became gray."

You have described events in a way that can be visualized.

My doubt-

I wonder if the use of "fat" regarding the description of rain drops is appropriate.

"...hum of raindrops, loud and fat and steady,.."
As you listen to the rain, the sound effect could be loud and steady.
The use of "fat" suggests you are looking at it, which is not the case here.


It is just a thought.

Also,
"When the rain began sounding like fingernails against her bedroom window.."
"fingernails" suggest a scratchy sound like the brushing of a branch against window. I wonder if rain could do that on the window.

Just a thought.

Write on!





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .