Interesting story!

Narrative style is nice and consistent with the events in the story.

Some secrets stand revealed only after death. An accident is created to unravel the mystery of the old blonde.

Edits-
Here are a few observations I made.

The first paragraph, I notice, mixes present and past tense.

"She always dresses mismatched or cozy. Not much of a fan to dress up. Lipgloss always shines on her lips. Everyday was a different color. And her eyes- well her sunglasses covered them. She never took them off. No matter the weather. People often wondered why. What was she hiding? Is it a hideous scar? Or was it a bruise from a former partner? Why does she also wear sunglasses"

(She always dresses mismatched or cozy. Not much of a fan to dress up. Lipgloss always shines on her lips. Everyday was a different color. And her eyes- well her sunglasses covered them. She never took them off. No matter the weather. People often wondered why. What was she hiding? Is it a hideous scar? Or was it a bruise from a former partner? Why does she also wear sunglasses?)

I have put the words with clashing tense in bold print.

A few more edits-

"One day the neighborhood kids always stopped and asked,"
(One day, the neighborhood kids stopped her and asked,)

"managed to never trip or bump into anything.'
(managed never to trip or bump into anything.)

"It was on a sunny day when the accident happened."
(It was on a sunny day that the accident happened.)
Or
(It was a sunny day, when the accident happened.)

"Amongst the mess we're big, dark green sunglasses."
(Amongst the mess were, a big and dark green sunglasses.)

"We're" is a shortened form of "we are."

Hope this would help you.

Write on!




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .