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 Review #4711967 |
  |  | I fall...  [E] Shape poem about letting go...  |
| (5.0)| This is a Super Power Reviewer member to member review… Dear Princess Zelda ,It’s a tear drop! I don’t know how difficult it was to produce this, but wonder if you considered using a color like light blue for more clarity. I know sometimes colors don’t do justice in these scenarios. I like how title and description perfectly set up the concept of the shape poem. The dot-dot-dot got me wondering if there was going to be suspense, a reveal, some sort of completion. It teased. What I note from the start is the line, “I fall so you can stand.” There’s no suspense, as with a water droplet, which really is too big and round to come from an eye. I wondered if it had hung suspended a reader could move through the text with anticipation the fate. But as I read on, this poem acts more like emotional therapy. A symbol of a tear and holding it back is the premise. Learning how to let go is the message. Furthermore, the words are comfort, which eases fear, like realization of tears might suggest we’re broken. It, in contrast, it helps one heal, move on. The best choice of words to describe the teardrop’s aim is ‘cleanse’ as water washes us, like baptism cleanses soul. But, rather than that direction, you gonto vision, “clarity”…another great word. Here the poem suggests the process clears vision, a hydrated eye, but it also brings a greater understanding of self, perhaps wisdom through experience. And the personification at the middle of these poem adds impact, as it is self-healing. The tear is a part of us, and it reminds our body knows how to cure itself, why not give it words to communicate how it functions and relief comes. The echo of the beginning with the end brings this full circle, and reason why we don’t need suspension. Repeating themes in this way can really intonevthe power of a poet’s message. The tear shape helps a reader visualize as well as feel the power of the message. It was a pleasure to read and lend my thoughts to your great poetic achievement. Brian Super Power Reviewer.  Just for the actuarial department: Not a suggestion to repair, but tear drops and water drops look different. This is still effective, noting a factual thing that really doesn't get noticed typically, or distract a reader. To include consideration of impact from adding font color to highlight or brighten, if you think it works. For future poem ideas and concepts, you could consider something like the suspension of the tear and let it release at the end. It would be an entirely different poem, based on the concept to show progression to finish, unless we are recounting an event and its impact. Just something to consider to try with really any thing/subject. I'm a legally blind writer with neurodivergence, in case my hyperactivity leads to any goofs herein, so you know.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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