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Review #4710709
Viewing a review of:
 Countdown  [18+]
Abandoned entry for the "No Dialogue" 23rd birthday contest
by Grave Robbin'
Review of Countdown  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Clever. I like things that end with them flying up their own fundaments. There's a sort of circular symmetry about them.

But you are certainly right about being careful with the inner dialogue business. The No Dialogue Contest would have been a lot easier if they hadn't added that little humdinger. And I say that even if I was a bit of a "Karl, the class know-every-damn-thing-about-every-damn-subject" at school.

And now I'm supposed to offer a few suggestions for improving the darn thing. Which ain't easy, seeing as it's written in the voice of the poor kid suffering the exam in the first place. No point in picking on any grammatical errors, therefore - it's his authentic voice you'll counter. And you know your stuff so it's all entirely appropriate to its subject (and amusing too, which is the intent, of course).

But there's the font size to consider. To help all the old fart WdC members like me, a slightly larger font wouldn't go amiss. Always consider the reader, he said with finger wagging in condemnation. And you've dared to choose only one genre, apart from Other, which is the same as nothing at all. Get those readers in by adding a couple of genres that are connected, no matter how loosely. They will come.

My last is deliciously picky, but I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel here. Your description of the piece should start with a capital letter! I need three suggestions and , by jiminy, I'll find 'em. :D

Thanks for posting about this piece - you made my job of finding the next one to review very easy. And don't forget to keep on writing!

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Beholden


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