%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4710584 |
 | Unfinished  [E] Caution: Watch your step.  |
| (4.5)| My review of Unfinished By Ann Pond I noticed this poem starts out in a free verse style. That’s not unlike an attempt by William Carlos Williams, to put emphasis on a word by breaking it between two lines as he did with wheel barrow, here you have broken apart cliff hanger. Your poem goes into a form of listing, ‘hanger, hangman, hanger on”, which begins a flow that is giving a lyrical field as you dance back-and-forth with words using some alliteration in a very poetically dance, first verse construction. This one ends with a cliff hanger, hangman, hang on to your guts; get a grip don’t slip on your expectations execution by hanging scene, interesting narrative approach, becomes a game of preparing the mind for death and to accept rather than 'slip' on expectations. A word I would suspect important to growing theme. False floor, word traveling Cut short, unraveling False floor understood. Word traveling, I can suspect that it's about news of the execution, but cut short, needs more information…and intrigued by 'unraveling', because control that is suggested in stanza one might be slipping in the unraveling here. Meet me where the ground bends, make friends with thin air How dare you rest in peace Wrapped in sheets of certainty Here I have a definite feeling of criticizing someone resting on their laurels, not I open to constructive thought, new information. It’s like a risk they take, a public execution, if they don’t heed poem of warning. Dead air, breath holding Two pair, cards folding Now they're playing your favorite hue, out-of-the blues Thirteen past lives, pending Seems we've lost the ending These lines give me pause to consider. I think of poker, placing bets. But, it’s more about how often they’ve double down, deeper in debt. If this were playing with debt, a gambler with a big problem. But, not making much more out of it. Missing, credits wanted Wishing, surely haunted Tale is out of order; chords all unresolved and diminished Your silence is my business This poem will remain Well, they’re at the end it just reminds me of writers, who don’t heed advice on how to improve. It shows that the efforts are limited, lacking in the opinion of the voice. Lyrical, rhythmic without heavy rhyming and use of assonance makes the words and thoughts sway, almost bittersweet, as if holding onto that moment, make it life affirming, a moment. I love experimental. We should all try to carry poetry forward with new visions, ideas that can capture others, keeping this form of poetic literature from dying off. Tying theme and metaphors with these images can help the outsider peer into the mind of the narrative, think about that voice, grasp a feeling from images portrayed, lock in on a turn of a phrase/use of integral words, something implied that a reader interprets, might be able to infer, hopefully correct. We look early for that topic/theme to set this up, the setting is important to open, and clear, an execution. Reading further, I attempt to see if this straightforward if the poet takes liberties and license with metaphor, expression or go beyond to the allegoric. Any or all can be employed together. Ultimately, we have an emotional speaker, narrating moments of reality and the internalization of the condition, situation. It's an attempt to grab a listener, as a good poem should do. It should get us to feel something, and it does. I think whether it is a good spirit going to death, or a person who feels trapped in life just the same, it resonates. It makes me connect and want to understand the motivations behind the shared feelings. As a reader, I clue hunt. And as a reviewer, I cannot just read once or twice. I analyze text and word usage after the initial read through. After picking up what I can, I read through again, hopefully with deeper understanding. Then comes the reviewing. I break down each stanza, section of a piece and type down my comments or reactions at this point. When I get through all of that, I consider the poem, my notes and start to write a review that feels cohesive, comprehensive. I take some time away, return and look at the poem with fresh eyes. I look at what I've written. I edit my review and hope that I can give the best take aways, suggestions and praise I can impart. EMPLOY? The structure is important, but I always allow for poetic license, meaning that sometimes the message is more important than the structure. But a poem is inhibited if structure is too far off base …but not here. Word choice is important. Some poems used a word that seem out of place. This poem is fluid abd cohesive with the right words in nuance, if not in actual definition. Sometimes the right word in the right place is a zinger, really powerful. Imagery. Some poems capture an image so effectively – you can see the image. Some poems miss in that the image or message is lost in vague and ambiguous wording and imagery. They seem to try too hard to be flowery or emotional and the message is unclear. Clarity is essential. That indeed was the case here. No words minced. Emotion. Poetry, in any form, has to capture an emotion and transfer that feeling to the reader. Some poetic emotion is in the category of sadness – loss, loneliness, abandonment, insult, being ostracized. Happiness – love, acceptance, success, accomplishment. The thing about this, more so than other forms of poetry, is that the form can capture a wide range of emotions. You’ve done well to capture this reader. It was a benefit to read and lend feedback in my growth as writer abd reviewer, Thank You Brian Super Power reviewer  I’m a legally blind writer with limited resources doing the best I can. Hope this was helpful.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 09/08/2023 @ 10:40pm EDT