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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4710288
Review #4710288
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Hinges  [ASR]
A Writer's Cramp poem about being free to pass this poem by without reading it.
by winklett
Review of Hinges  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Well, of course, having read the description, I had to read the poem. As a way to ensure readers, it can't fail - to suggest that we can pass by without reading. So it's interesting even before I start reading.

And remains so as I read. There's something slightly desperate in these brave declarations of freedom.
Boldly shaking a fist at life while trembling inside. It's so expressive yet we remain in the dark as to the cause of it all. It is indeed your party and you can cry if you want to. But one of your chosen genres is Personal and that slams the door on nosiness.

It is a very good poem and I love it. But I'm supposed to make suggestions on improving it so here goes (oh, the sheer cheek of it). Firstly, there's the matter of the genres listed. People don't search for contest entries so that one has to go. There must be something else, no matter how tenuously related, that can be applied. Experience would do, for instance. Have to get those readers in, you know.

With contest entries, I find that it helps reviewers to know the requirements to which the piece was designed. It also means that you won't get complaints like, "It's too short," when you know you've hit the word limit quite accurately. So I can suggest adding a note with the the fact that it is a contest entry and the limitations under which it was written.

Finally (and this is really reaching), where can you buy tea at 3am? Just joking - I really can't fault the poem itself. Two suggestions will have to do.


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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4710288