Hi WriterAngel!

You do write like one.
I saw this ghost story in this week's Short stories Newletter. This is a deserving mention.

You created a haunting atmosphere in the woods. The ambiance is right. The friends' quest was fulfilled. Great!

What I liked-

The mist. Curling around and catching the person in its web of gossamer delicacy, is beyond doubt, a winning point.

Appearance of the girl on a swing with a musical locket on, is something I could clearly conceive.

The bad guys are dealt with, in a deserving manner. His aim of the chase being,

"The thrill of the chase, the intoxication of flirting.." Fond of ax murdering too.

"Theo and Jake’s gazes met briefly in silent understanding. Then, with a mutual nod, they lunged forward."

The wages of sin being death, the girl's ghost on the swing did the right thing, by delivering poetic justice.

Alliteration-

It slipped into the story several times quite spontaneously. It lends a poetic flavor to the story.

"Tendrils of fog, seeming sentient in their sinuous movement, slithered ..."

You told an appealing tale beginning with a sentence that hooks the reader.

My thoughts-

The warning is repeated.
" “Mara is the lucky one. I let her go. I won’t do the same for you…”
" “I told you. Mara was the lucky one. I let her go. I’ll never do the same for you…”

A suggestion-
The second line might be just
"Mara was the lucky one."

This is just me, the story is your creation.

Write on!
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .