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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4709648
Review #4709648
Viewing a review of:
 Warping Radiance  [E]
Something is lost in the translation
by Prosperous Snow celebrating
Review of Warping Radiance  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, Prosperous Snow celebrating . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Warping Radiance"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

In a musical swirl of colors and light waves, a poet's soul detects beauty's song. But can this be translated without misinterpretation?


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This is my own reading of what you wrote, as it read to me, feel free to disagree with me.

A poem about hermeneutics and epistemology - excellent! What we experience of Divine revelation and beauty in the natural world is misread and miswritten. We choose our words badly and our rhythms and rhymes dilute the majesty and wonder of the experience we were trying to share. If only we could observe the thing as it really is and if only we had the interpretative structures and mechanisms to digest these feelings and this moment into something that would connect the reader to what we saw.

We are poor evangelists for the life, light and love shone into our lives. But that does not undermine the task of trying. Indeed perhaps with every attempt we get a little closer to saying it as it is. As we reach for authenticity we become more authentic and less and less is lost in the transition.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

I ran this through https://syllablecounter.net/count

You did not keep the required structure for a Noye. Relates for example is three syllables, not two.


Thanks for sharing.

2023 Quill Nominee

 
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#2259390 by LightinMind


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/02/2023 @ 10:01am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4709648