I love flash fiction and science fiction, so this story jumped out at me in the "Read and Review" rotation.

I was anxious to find out what the top secret project was as we watched George and John work. I think it's a strength of the story that we are not told the nature of their project, nor their plans for using it too early, but rather we find out when they actually use it. I personally was surprised by the nature of the device when it was revealed.

The response of the alien planet lord was funny in his dismissive attitude towards the two travelers, but that might not have been their biggest failure.

The twist at the end is my favorite part of flash fiction and you did not disappoint. This story has a definite twist which leaves one of the main characters with a rather disturbing problem of missing feet that got left behind.

Suggestions:

1. The appearance of Tim remains unexplained in the story. He says they no longer need the secret project but he doesn't say why. I wondered about that even after I found out what the secret project was.

2.I expected the death star laser to kill them when it zapped them. It's not a big thing, but you might consider calling it another name like "transport beam" or something like that.

3. In the sentence: "Suddenly in burst Tim." I would add a comma after "suddenly".

Overall Impression: An amusing science fiction story with a twist that is well told in a tidy 300 words. I enjoyed reading this and the missing feet gave me a laugh.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .