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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4697977
Review #4697977
Viewing a review of:
 The Mythical Village of Luna Open in new Window. [13+]
Few souls venture into protected territory. Some run in terror....
by 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson Author Icon
Review by Nixie🦊 Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hi 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson Nixie here.


Hook, line and sinker
The catchy title and brief description are compelling, but as far as the village being identified (Luna) maybe a more exotic name would fit.

Appreciations

I found the format unusual, but unique appeals to me. The words you chose created a vivid picture. I understand the fear of those who lose people who venture there and never return. In my case, I would never return, because this imaginary world appeals to me. I'd find the dragons, mermaids, and other mythical creatures protective. The world you created would be my dream life. That is, if I were deemed worthy.

A few observations:
(They) acclimated. Who is (they?) Two sentences above, a traveler returns. One traveler. I'm confused.

(It is said) no comma after (said)

Way to go!
I was tempted to fly through this read, but the contradictions of people reacting differently slowed me down. As written some succumb to fear, while others, such as myself, may spend the rest of my life finding this village.

You mentioned this poem/prose could be a beginning for a story, and I totally agree! Hi-ho. Back to work you go. *Laugh*

~Nixie






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