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![]() | Preparing For Comprehension ![]() A teacher is taking a gifted student to be elevated from human to the next level. ![]() |
Hello, I'm StephBee ![]() ![]()
![]() ![]() Karen is taking a student, Jill, to be "ascended." ![]() I liked the premise of the story. There's a nice light sci-fi touch. The quotation inspiration was weaved into the story in such a way to support the ascension. ![]() This is told in the third person limited by Karen. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. ![]() There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Good use of dialogue tags. ![]() There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest using the five senses. What did the summer camp smell like, for example? ![]() TIME: modern day PLACE: rural setting. This is something that is clarified for the reader. ![]() Karen and Jill There's enough here to understand Karen's motivations, but Jill is a very important character as well, and I'm curious as to her motivations. ![]() I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. ![]() Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader and the ending leaves the story on an intriguing note. My big suggestion is maybe to clarify Jill's motivations a bit. I enjoyed reading the story. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest. ![]() ![]()
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