Hello, I'm StephBee and I am reviewing your story for

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

Thanks for entering.

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

A determined nurse tries to help an artist in a catatonic state.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how Tracey brought Shannon out of her shell, so to speak. The quotation inspiration fits the story.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Narration shifts between Shannon and Tracey without line breaks which is a tad confusing. I might suggest using line breaks when shifting point of view narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: hospital setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Shannon and Tracey

There's enough here to understand Tracey's motivations. As a nurse, she wants to help people.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. While sad, the ending does leave the reader with a hopeful message. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.