The Last Vein [13+] Reg Scribbs, a man who never saw the big picture. |
Hello, I'm StephBee and I am reviewing your story for
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. THE STORY Reg is a deadbeat, but he's a likeable deadbeat, which ultimately gets him in trouble. WHAT I LIKED I loved the setting and felt like I was there. The story fit the quotation inspiration prompt, but the prompt itself (the actual words) was not worked into the story. POV NARRATION/TENSE This is told in the third person limited by Reg. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. DIALOGUE There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Good use of dialogue tags. DESCRIPTIONS There's enough to set the scenes. SETTING TIME: modern day PLACE: The Australian outback This is something that is clarified for the reader. CHARACTERS Reg There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's a drifter due to his personality. He's likable, but ultimately, his greed gets the better of him. MECHANICS I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS The opening engages the reader. A solid character driven story. Good luck in the contest.
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