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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4693406
Review #4693406
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The Last Vein Open in new Window. [13+]
Reg Scribbs, a man who never saw the big picture.
by Sumojo Author Icon
Review of The Last Vein  Open in new Window.
Review by StephBee Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, I'm StephBee Author IconMail Icon and I am reviewing your story for
 
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Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest Open in new Window. (ASR)
Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes!
#1207944 by Writing.Com Support Author IconMail Icon
Thanks for entering.

*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Reg is a deadbeat, but he's a likeable deadbeat, which ultimately gets him in trouble.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the setting and felt like I was there. The story fit the quotation inspiration prompt, but the prompt itself (the actual words) was not worked into the story.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Reg. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Good use of dialogue tags.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: The Australian outback

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Reg

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's a drifter due to his personality. He's likable, but ultimately, his greed gets the better of him. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. A solid character driven story. Good luck in the contest.


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/04/2023 @ 9:38am EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4693406