My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Mareana longs for Uranus.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the author built in a "longing" sensation into the story.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
Narration drives the story.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes.
SETTING
TIME: 2000
PLACE: Mississippi
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Mareana
For me, as a reader, it was hard to determine Mareana's goals or motivations. I understood the story is meant to be a tad nonsensical and lighthearted, but it was hard for me to follow.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening needs to be reworked. I might use the first person for Mareana to perhaps capture a quirky kinda of character voice and sell the premise of the story that way. (Perhaps Mareana can channel her inner "Phoebe Buffay"). Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
You responded to this review 04/06/2023 @ 11:37am EDT
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