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 Review #4675481 |
 | Kelli  [E] the first day of school didn't go too well  |
| (4.0)| "  My Angel Army Oct 2022 Reviews" "TRICK OR TREAT - Fourteen Reviews" (Moderator Review)The brief description and the genre 'comedy' led me to click on this item. You've done a good job of describing the scene, I could picture the sulky little girl and almost 'hear' the whole conversation. In fact at one point I wanted to intervene and tell the Mom to allow the daughter to vent, instead of trying to cheer her up! As I read on, I tried to anticipate what the twist would be. When it came, it gave me a smile! Suggestions: 1. WritingML - font, size, line-space. 2. Maybe give a hint that there is a younger kid in the house - she falls over a toy of his, or hears him cooing or something as she enters ... this'll make him a more real character in the story. Thanks for the smile! Write On! - Sonali  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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