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Review #4675321
Viewing a review of:
 when i was in love Open in new Window. [13+]
the story of when i was in love (based on dreams)
by jarvis Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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What a lovely tale! I wish it had been based on reality, not dreams, but I guess dreams are good enough too!

I like the style, I like the story and the details you put in every step of the way. I could see what was happening and feel the various emotions. I also like the lengthened sounds of the vowels when you wanted to emphasise a word! *Smile* I also like the use of the emoticons.

My favourite part was the feel-goodness throughout and the happy ending.

There are a couple of typos somewhere towards the end - 'ashamed' and 'said' need to be corrected.

I'd suggest some Writing ML, like font, size and line spacing. Maybe color if you like.

Thanks for the smile!
- Sonali

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