%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4673019 |
 | I used to go barefoot  [E] The poem explores a childish activity from the vantage point of an adult.  |
| (4.5)| Greetings, TreeBender! Welcome aboard our International Inspiration Station. I saw this little gem featured in this week's Noticing Newbies newsletter and wanted to congratulate you on gaining that kind of exposure during your brief tenure among us. The following observations are offered in the spirit of friendly hospitality and constructive support. Of course, they are nothing more than one person's opinions, so take them or leave them for whatever you think they may be worth. TITLE: The title of a composition represents the door through which prospective readers must pass to enter the realm of your imagination. If that entrance does not spark some sort of interest, chances are he or she will move along to the next item, or maybe even the next author. The sign on the door to this poem grabbed my attention with its nostalgic reference. FORM & STRUCTURE: In traditional poetry, the fixed shape of the meter, rhyme, and stanza creates an emotional distance which facilitates universal acceptance. The poet writing free verse must compensate for the lack of traditional structure by designing the title, line, stanza, and rhythm to provide the greatest impact in an efficient manner. Otherwise, the poem will be nothing more than prose in disguise. Careful design of the word selection and arrangement, the length and density of each line, and the breakdown of stanzas must provide a natural rhythm. That is, through much toil in search of precise language, experimentation with forming lines and stanzas, and extensive revision, the poet carefully crafts a work that appears natural, authentic, and convincing to the reader. The brief body of continuous text provides a solid framework upon which to drape the word pictures you are painting. IMAGERY: Imagery is the lifeblood of a poem. Like a craftsman carving, molding, painting, and polishing wood, stone, clay, or some other material, the poet uses words to shape and paint pictures which present some lyrical impulse or spiritual truth. Rather than TELLING the audience about those feelings, the poet SHOWS the impressions through distinct images that project emotional overtones and associations with other images and events. In this way, the poet stirs an emotional response from the reader. The specific concrete details, such as "spiky grass" and "horny barnacles," along with the "smooth lips" metaphor, project vivid impressions upon the screen of your reader's imagination. OPPORTUNITY FOR IMPROVEMENT: In the interest of language compression, which is a fundamental characteristic of poetic tradition, you could eliminate a few of the eight "the"s found in this brief narrative. OVERALL IMPRESSION: The shift in perspective described in the last three lines provide an enlightening epiphany frequently found in the work of Ted Kooser: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/ted-kooser . I thoroughly enjoyed this journey into the past. Thank you for sharing! If you are interested in learning more about the craft of composing poetry, or merely chatting with a few like-minded wordsmiths, we would love to have you join our discussions in "The Poet's Place " group.Here's wishing you fair winds as you continue to navigate this universe known as Writing.Com. Let the creativity flow from your soul!  Dave "The Poet's Place " * All items are rated in accordance with the guidelines provided in "Comment-In-A-Box"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 10/06/2022 @ 10:58am EDT