Hello, I'm StephBee and I am an official judge reviewing your story for

SURVEY

Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest  (E) Use the music provided to inspire your writing! #2002964 by Writing.Com Support

Thanks for entering.

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Mickey and May manage to make some time to get away.

WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the simplicity of Mickey and May's relationship. It was a very sweet story that tugged on the heartstrings.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by May. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. Good use of words that tapped into the five senses. I especially liked: "May thought Mickey's crooked teeth made him even more appealing."

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

May

There's enough here to understand her motivations. She's very responsible but also needs her time to be "just a kid."

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

My only suggestion, and this is minor, would be to expand the scene where Mickey takes May to the Cadillac. Did they ride bikes? Walk? Stop by to buy gum? Build up the suspense a bit more as Mickey takes May to the car. I thought the story captured the "grittiness" of the song & it's inspiration well. The opening easily engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.