Hello, I'm StephBee and I am an official judge reviewing your story for

SURVEY

Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest  (E) Use the music provided to inspire your writing! #2002964 by Writing.Com Support

Thanks for entering.

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Sid has to face the fact that Mabel is dying.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the story was emotionally nuanced. Sid went through the emotional gambit and the reader was right there with him. Nice characterization at the beginning grabs and holds the reader throughout.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Sid. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to tug on the reader's heartstrings.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Sid
There's enough here to understand his motivations. He wants to give Mabel the best before he loses her.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the font easier for the reader.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. If anything, the ending winded me. I was hoping he would return to the jeweler and ask them to borrow the ring. I wasn't expecting the ending and it let me down, though I suppose the "grittiness" of it is consistent with the song and the inspiration provided. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.