Hello, I'm StephBee and I am an official judge reviewing your story for

SURVEY

Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest  (E) Use the music provided to inspire your writing! #2002964 by Writing.Com Support

Thanks for entering.

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Georgios meets Maria when her family goes to turn in their olives, but can he get past her family?

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending and how it tied into the title of the story. Nice tie in, and made the story come full circle.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Georgios. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a separate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "It was good to meet you Georgios," she said stepping into the truck.

MY SUGGESTION: She stepped into the truck. "It was good to meet you, Georgios."

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural setting in Greece

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

CHARACTERS

Georgios

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's attracted to Maria and wants to make it work with her, despite her family.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation, especially for commas. There are a couple of run on sentences. I would reword the following. As written: She spoke with an accent he had been taught to hate but he loved the way she spoke and the joy and energy in her voice made him want to sing out.

I would write: She spoke with an accent he had been taught to hate, but he loved the way she spoke. There was a joy and energy in her voice that made him want to sing.


PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening intrigues the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.