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Review #4664487
Viewing a review of:
 Third Floor, Radisson Hotel WC: 299 Open in new Window. [18+]
Stupid Move…Wishful Thinking
by jackiesmuse Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


I came across this on read and review.

You hook the reader well, and the suspense stays taut throughout. In a short word count, you manage to evoke a real feeling of fear. The use of the first person works brilliantly and the last line is spot on. I also like the description of the 'crime', you start with teeny-weeny and then go on quite smoothly to describe how NON teeny-weeny it actually was! And then there's the wallop you add with the text in the letter. Also, revealing 'your' gender at the point you did was a great move. And nice insight about crime paying, but having its own price, too.

I'm guessing the words in bold were the prompt words.
When I come across these entries, I'd like to get a feel of the piece without those words in bold, and I usually suggest two versions, one with the bolded words left as is and one with them unbolded. Maybe you'd like to consider this.

The title and brief description fit the story, I'd suggest picking two more genres to give your work more exposure on site.

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