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 Review #4664242 |
 |  | April Shadows  [13+] Ice persists in nooks and crevices in early spring. Snowfields may not melt for years.  |
| (5.0)| Hello, Kåre เลียม Enga ! I'm dropping by with a review of your poem, "April Shadows" . I hope you find it helpful. Please feel free to reach out with additional questions, if you'd like me to take another look after you've made changes, or if you have any feedback for me on my reviewing style!Ready for your review??  Title & ThemeI like the title because we typically hear all about April "Showers" in poetry, and this was something different, right from the start. The theme took the changing season in a much different direction. Just as there are locations where winter will never turn to spring or summer, there are places within us that will never see the warmth of the sun. These are scarred places that we hide away, intentionally or not. Should they see daylight in a much happier season of our lives, what will that look like for us? As you can imagine, this poem touched on something that is very close to my own experiences and I may be interpreting it in my own way, but this poem's theme has a deeper meaning for me. I think it will for other readers as well. StructureI love free verse poetry when the structure aids in the sound and feel of the poem as a whole. Reading the piece out loud, it had a cadence do it, even without a strict meter or rhyme. Accomplishing that in free verse can be a challenge, but you did quite well. I loved your use of the short 1-2 line stanzas in between your longer, more substantial thoughts. By separating the short lines, it gave me time to pause over those words and consider them more carefully. Rhythm & FlowThe flow is impressive, and, as I mentioned, can be a challenge with good free verse poetry. I especially loved the very short and much longer lines of the fifth stanza. You'd think that, visually, it would be choppy and disconnected. Instead, when reading the words aloud, it is quite smooth and very impactful. I did struggle over the fourth stanza with whence, then, and when all contained in a line of just six words. It was difficult to articulate when reading aloud and I had to reread for meaning as well. Imagery & EmotionThis poem exudes emotion and it does so with vivid images of a barren winter landscape that almost refuses to give up certain sites that it still clings to desperately. The transition from a physical landscape to an emotional one is very well done. CreativityThis is a unique poem and very creative. There is so much poetry that speaks to the changing of the seasons but you have taken a very different view of this change, turning inward to an emotional struggle that I think any reader can identify with on some level or another. It's much deeper and more profound. Language/VocabularyYou say so much in so few words by choosing your words carefully. Slanted words are those that describe physically but carry an emotional charge. You use them expertly throughout this poem. Just a few examples are furrows, bleak, stiffened, sleeping. But really, you've mastered the art here. Spelling/GrammarI found no spelling or grammatical errors in your poem. I actually like your use of punctuation to help adjust the tempo, like your em dashes at the end of the second and fourth stanza. By creating a longer pause for your reader, they mull over that thought for just a bit longer. Most LikedThe final stanza. You spend time setting the scene visually, of winter clinging to the farthest reaches, and then turning that icy landscape into an emotional struggle. Leaving me with a question to ponder after bringing up some very intriguing and deep concepts makes the poem seem almost spiritual. Suggestions for ImprovementThe only blemish I encountered was reading the fourth stanza aloud. It was a bit of a tongue-twister. I can make no other suggestions that would improve this piece. Personal ThoughtsAs I mentioned when discussing the theme, this poem stirred some very strong emotions for me, especially with some of my recent struggles and as I try to move on from them. There will always be those parts of my mind and heart that spring and summer will never again reach. Winter has claimed them and I'm not sure I want that ice to melt, as I know not what lies beneath. Isn't that just part of the deeper meaning of the question you ask? This is a very well-written poem and I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. It was a pleasure. If you haven't already been recruited into the Angel Army, then check out this forum. Simply make a post in the forum or send an email directly to iKïyå§ama  ."The WDC Angel Army" ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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