I like the message. There is a bit of rhythm and rhyme to it in places but that stylistically falls apart in the end for me. Maybe I read it wrong. It would have been more satisfying if the rhyme pattern at least had been completed or consistent. It built up to something but the last two lines just fell apart for me. I can feel what is being said but I think it could have been much clearer. It wasn't like that meaning was being sacrificed to fit the form of the poem. At least not what I could understand of it. Perhaps a link to the form would help, or a description in a dropnote? I really can't complain a lot of my poems fall apart in the second half when I run out of poetic steam.

FORUM

Ultimate Trinket Adventure [Mainland]  (E) Collect treasures, complete tasks, and win the golden Apple.. #2267246 by GERVIC

ultimate trinket adventure.