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Given: Jun 4, 2022 at 4:46pm
Length: 1,038 Characters |
1,038 w/o WritingML
Very interesting story. I love the aliteration you have used giving human qualities to the cacti. The story read smoothly and orderly. Sometimes this type of story jumps around.
You didn’t have a lot of character development but what you did show was well thought out.
***Many others stood round around the leaders and waited for the big announcement. There'd been word on a major change in management of the arboretum.
***"Walter the cactus wren heard the story. When he flew into the interp (spelling) center the other day he heard the in-charge people talking. They think of us as boring, and uninteresting. We are spiny, hurtful. Dry, dusty, and not of this century."
***"So untrue. So short sighted.(hyphenated)(period)” Murmurs came up from the smallest cacti at Stan's base.
***"So what are we going to do Stan?" Aloyisious asked. He always wanted to please and do the right thing, and smooth things over.
***All the rest cheered and the push was on. For the next month (comma) all energies went into the 'big bloom'.
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