Hallo! I came across this item on 'random reads'. At first, I was confused about whom you are addressing. I thought it must be someone you know personally and you've put down what you feel about them. Then I wondered if you are addressing the reader of the piece, given the title and the brief description as well as the way you've ended it.. You show great empathy for someone who is going through hard times. You also show a deep understanding of the type of help that might be required from you. This piece would probably help those who are trying to comfort someone who is facing difficult times. I appreciate the large type and the formatting. Suggestions: 1. As an item type, maybe you'd like to choose 'letter / memo' and start 'Dear Friend', and sign off 'Your Friend'.. 2. You may want to pick more genres. 3. In the last line, you need a space after the word 'friend'. 4. Although the expression is 'lend' an ear, somehow here it didn't seem to fit with the flow of the sentence. Maybe you could change 'lend' to 'listen' ... ? Thanks for sharing this piece! Write On! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|