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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4653988
Review #4653988
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of 2038  Open in new Window.
Review by GERVIC Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Greetings !

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Overview:
Your poem was listed under the VIP section of "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus]Open in new Window. and I'm here to deliver to you my review. This review is also part of your Extravagant Surprise package from "Magical Express Delivery WagonOpen in new Window..


Title:
         Your title suggests something about the future. It tells us beforehand that your piece will tackle the future events in the year 2038. As with the description, I can't figure out why it says a 160 poem.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
         The writer shows a feeling of awe and disbelief at how the earth turns inside-out in the future. The phrase "Hell on Earth is here" somehow surprised me after reading it. I was thinking that maybe the earth is too hot already in the year 2038. Or perhaps the earth is already filled with negativities, violence is all over, and everyone is already a slave to the seven deadly sins. Or maybe, just maybe the earth's core burst out to the crust as you said on the second stanza that "Everything turns inside out". The reason is vague for me and I can't point out the cause. This can create confusion (ambiguous thoughts) to the readers.


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
         A single quatrain with no set meter and rhyme. A free verse poem.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
         The imagery is not that clear as the poem lacks something base on what I mention above.


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
         No error detected.


Favorite Lines:
None.


Suggestions:
         I suggest you add more lines or stanzas to give a little background about Hell on Earth is here.


Final Thought:
         I like to see and read more lines to this poem. I understand that poem doesn't need to be lengthy (as for haikus and other short poems), but this is different. It lacks something for me. Maybe it's just me and others may view it as complete and clear. I know you will receive more reviews from other readers and their views may be different from mine, so it's up to you if you take mine or not. It was a great read though and I thank you for sharing your work. Write on!


Reviewed by:
GERVIC Author IconMail Icon



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