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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4653579
Review #4653579
Viewing a review of:
A Big Flashy Fun Rainbow Ball   [E]
Bunny and Honey, Harry and Larry plan a picnic for the neighborhood
by ผีKåreEngaในMontana
Review by Cubboo!
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Greetings, ผีKåreEngaในMontana, I am reviewing this today as one of two judges for the "Writing 4 Kids Contest " . Please do not edit your limerick until after the winners are announced! Thank you! *Smile*

*Pencil* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Boxcheckb* Visually appealing Very much so!
*Boxcheckb* Easy to understand Yes
*Box* Followed the prompt & rules Didn't include line count.

*Crayons4* First Impression What a great piece! I have not read many items in the Gay/Lesbian genre for children; I felt this was very well done. *Smile*

*Crayons7* Meter: Required meter for the contest was 8/8/5/5/8. Your first stanza was 9/9/6/6/9. Although you did not meet the required meter, it sounds and flows great, just the way it is. Your second and third stanzas are a perfect 8/8/5/5/8. *Smile*

*Crayons* Rhyme: Good job.

*Crayons3* Flow: Excellent flow! Nice and bouncy.

*Crayons5* Technicalities: I didn't notice any typos.

*Crayons2* Favorites:

When Harry wed Larry he knew
that soon they would have a big crew;
         now Barbie and Bob,
         Rebecca and Rob,
two puppies, five kitties and you!

I can picture a photo here! *Up*

*Crayons8* Final thoughts: Have you thought about writing in the Gay/Lesbian genre for children? My guess would be there is a need for this genre. Your limerick is fun and bouncy and I'm sure kids would enjoy it. *Smile*

Best of luck in the contest!


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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