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 Review #4653540 |
 | Mary The Koala  [E] Limerick for children  |
| (3.5)   Greetings, Sumojo, I am reviewing this today as one of two judges for the "Writing 4 Kids Contest " . Please do not edit your limerick until after the winners are announced! Thank you!   First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest. Visually appealing Easy to understand Required Syllables: 8/8/5/5/8 --> Didn't follow this meter Required Rhyme: a/a/b/b/a --> Very good rhyming First Impression: This is adorable! I loved it.  Meter: Well... Much of your meter was 9/9/6/6/9, which reads great, but the prompt required 8/8/5/5/9. And some stanzas were mixed. One line was 11 syllables.  Flow: Mostly, very nice flow. There were some lines, however, that needed some tweaking.  Technicalities:There are some areas that need punctuation. Here is one example: She disliked the taste Would screw up her face You might consider adding commas for pause. She disliked the taste, Would screw up her face,  In Stanza 5, you might consider using italics for the letter beginning with Dear Mum. Favorites: Even though the meter didn't follow the prompt in most stanzas, I absolutely loved this:I’m looking so fine In this sweater of mine. Now, please can you knit me some socks?  Final thoughts: I loved the emoticons you included! They are like mini illustrations.  This would be a great piece for an illustrator. I love the sweater idea and then Mary asking for socks, too.  Maybe after the winners are announced, you might try to follow the meter in 9/9/6/6/9, since that is what most of your stanzas are close to. All in all, this is a fun piece and I loved the visuals and the cute little story!Have a great day and...  K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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You responded to this review 04/04/2022 @ 9:26am EDT