Hallo Ken!
You wrote this a long ago about longer ago but it showed up on Random Reads now!
As soon as I saw the combination of the cover pic, the title and your handle, I knew I wanted to review this one.
It's lovely.
The rhyme scheme creates a great rhythm and the device (of the last two words in each verse ) works brilliantly. You paint a happy picture of this little child's life. The importance of the teddy bear is beautifully depicted.
Suggestions:
1. WritingML - font, centre, size, colour.
2. Maybe pick another genre.
3. The picture you paint is all happy-happy, which is good, but I'd have liked to see Fred help her through some hard times, too. Maybe a quarrel with a friend or a cold or scraped knee or something that hurts, and Fred is there for her?
4. This was written a long time ago and the contest you wrote it for has gone invalid. Just pointing that out - you may want to leave the link there anyway or delete it.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 5:23pm on Feb 23, 2025 via server WEBX1.