First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you and leave the rest.
What I Liked
You certainly got a reaction out of me! Oh, my...maggots have always grossed me out so much! I cannot stand to see even one crawling on a rotting potato. So you see, even though I am revolted by maggots, I liked this piece because you did accomplish a reaction out of me!
Your writing is very visual and descriptive.
My grandson would love this, I have no doubt, lol. He would squirm but beg for more.
My favorite line was: "Don't bother sampling the vomit, it's chicken chow mein." That's good. Really good!
Suggestions to Consider
I found no typos or grammar errors. Since this is so brief, you may want to 1) Enlarge the font a little. 2) Change your linespacing to 1.4. If you do this, your paragraph might not appear so squished. This is not an error or anything like that, just a suggestion for you to consider and it will improve the appearance.
Final Thoughts
In all seriousness, your piece was well-written and you truly have a gift for description. Excellent job!
Have a great day and... K e e p on W r i t i n g ! Cubby ")
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