I had to smile at the hopeful vibe and could relate to the quick burst of inspiration that can die really quick. The idea of the dream of fame dying with it is brilliant. How fragile our dreams.
It was easy to get caught up in the poet's feelings when dealing with this "idea" and wonder if the distracting thoughts chase the "idea' away. LOL Words like "epiphany" raise the expectation of the inspiring idea.
The poem has quatrains with effective rhyme scheme but I did not notice a defined rhythm as I read it aloud. The freer flow works as it gives me the impression of a mind noodling around. It sounds like a voice is one's head talking to itself.
The imagery was vivid and I like the idea of the idea being secretive, almost hiding, as in a dream. The turn from the excitement to the feeling of losing it is strong with the sudden "Oh, no!" I totally get that if we do not get the idea down quick, it does fly away! The simile of the ship works too as it can mean that the ideas could still be around in the waters of consciousness, back in the undefined again.
I don't get why you need the "And" in line 4, verse 3 as it works with out it. It threw me off a bit. It follows from As soon as....create, the words begin..."
That the poet has not totally given up is evident at the end. Hope still reigns. I like the last line, which states the areas the author wants to shine in and connects back with the line about Broadway.
The feeling of let down is then replaced with a new possibility.
Thanks for sharing your evocative vision which has a relevancy, I'm sure, for many struggling writers.
 You responded to this review 02/20/2022 @ 11:27pm EST |
|
Review #4648375
| (4.0)
Greetings Sumojo! I am happy to celebrate You with a review on behalf of "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus]" 
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